this is me after the worst day of my life. sooo stoned. pretty happy now that my boyfriend has forgiven me (I hope he’s not just saying that). but honestly, that’s a completely fake smile on my face.
my boyfriend took this and told me to look sexy. I just look fuckin stoned! ahahaha! why doesn’t he think its funny?
do I look happy? I’m trying. even though this panic disorder isn’t letting me. It snowed here, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. but I did and I refilled my birth control and now I have nothing to do but sit here, trapped in my mind. I can’t even focus to read..
ugh, and at the same time I want to fuck the shit out of you cuz you’re so god damn sexy. & because I love you so god damn much.
I know it may not seem like it but I’m falling apart on the inside. and sometimes I wish you would see it. I hide it a lot… very well I’m fact. maybe it’s the pills that keep me from falling apart on the outside. but I can’t talk to
you because half the time, anymore, you’re mad at something I did. if you only knew how many times I’ve cried after leaving you because I did something to make you mad once again and I’m tired of fucking everything up. I’m sorry I’m not perfect. I’m the polar opposite of perfect actually. and the steady things in my life have all fallen apart, one by one. except for you. and you have no idea how much it hurts when I know that I’m making mistakes already and instead of fully being there for me, you rub in the little things I do and make me feel even more like shit about myself…. I don’t know what I did.
